June 2009

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or McGarrertt & Danno…

Miami Vice

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Adam sits up

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Today was “shot day” for the boys. Today’s vaccinations include oral polio, Hib, HepB, and Rotavirus. A necessary evil, of course, but we’re not looking forward to the next couple of days. Last time they didn’t do too well, especially Alex, who spiked a 102° and was generally feeling pukey for two days. Anyway, we arrived at the immunization clinic just before they reopened after lunch, so we spent a few minutes exploring the hallway and pushing the stroller around making the obligatory race car noises that seem to amuse a child of any age. We checked-in and a few minutes later, the tears were gone and twins were vaccinated. The exercise was certainly more traumatic for the parents than the bambinos.

Beast Feeding After the shots, we went to Ruby Tuesday’s for lunch. Let me rephrase that: “We went to Ruby Tuesday’s to feed the kids their lunch.” It was actually pretty funny. The restaurant was practically empty. There were 5 or 6 tables with customers eating, and wouldn’t you know it, the waitress seats us right-smack-dab-in-the-middle of all these people. It was a bit cramped, and I’m sure more than a little annoying to the businesswomen sitting just inches away from Alex’s bulky sling chair. It sounded like this was a working lunch for them, and Alex just couldn’t help, evidently, giving them some advise on raising next quarters sales revenue (he was so loud, he had to be talking to someone at another table).

So, we’re already mixing their cereal and bottles when the waitress comes to take our order: crab cakes for me, and those mini-hamburgers for Cindy, and two salad bars. We also ordered some chips and guacamole that arrived as we were feeding the boys their cereal. Our meals arrived as we were feeding the kids their bottles. I ate left-handed, as my dominate hand was otherwise occupied holding Alex’s bottle. Cindy had a better time of it because Adam is able to hold his own bottle now (although he wasn’t too interested in holding it in the restaurant). After the bottles we had our salads, then packed-up to go feeling a bit rushed after the experience. At least I did…Cindy and our nanny, Miss Hannah, do this all the time!

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The tee-shirt says it all…

Teething Bites

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After weeks of struggle, battling the elements and wild beasts, Adam crawls out from the savage jungle…and falls asleep.

Adam Escapes the Jungle

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Here’s a little something for every dad that, in the wake of a screaming child, ever looked at his wife and thought, “I didn’t ask for this…”

All Daddy Wanted was a Blowjob

Yes, that is printed on a tee shirt….

and yes, the twins are wearing them…

Twins and tee-shirts



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It’s really amazing (and extremely funny) the questions people-on-the-street ask when meeting the twins. They’re real-life “Here’s Your Sign” moments. Here are a few of our favorite questions, and our typical answers…

  1. Are they twins?

    No. Just this one.

  2. Are they identical?

    No. One has longer hair.

  3. Are they “paternal”?

    No. It was a virgin birth.

  4. Do twins run in your family?

    Yes, but usually they learn to walk, first. They’ll probably jump and climb, too

  5. How do you tell them apart?

    I just look at them.

  6. How did you know you were having twins?

    Well, we had sex twice that night, so we thought we had a pretty good chance.

  7. Did you take drugs? (Cindy always gets this one!)

    Well, there was this one time in Majorca…

  8. They don’t look anything alike. Are they natural?

    No, they’re plastic!

  9. They don’t look alike. Are you sure they’re twins?

    Well, I was there for the birth! But I guess the doctor could’ve pulled a fast one.

  10. Oh, you have twins. Are they brothers?

    No, just twins.

  11. Which one’s the “good” one?

    Neither, they’re both equally bad!

  12. When one cries, does he wake the other?

    No. Twins can’t hear each others cries because they communicate with their special telepathic language only.

  13. What do you do when they cry at the same time?

    Sometimes I cry; sometimes I go to Starbucks.

  14. Is raising twins expensive?

    Yes. Would you like to make a donation?

  15. Wow, twins. You must really have your hands full!

    Why? Are you offering to clean my house?

  16. Twins, huh? Just wait, it only gets harder!

    Thanks. Just this morning I woke up hoping to receive a word of discouragement while simultaneously pushing a stroller and pulling a shopping cart through Wal-Mart. Have a nice day. 😛

Thanks to the many parents of multiples who provided some of these snappy answers…

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Dinner Out The boys are 6-months old now, and are much easier to manage solo these days. In fact, Cindy is on her own with the babies most of the week. Instead of their nanny, Miss Hannah, coming over every day, she only comes a couple of days a week and Friday night–date night. On date night, Hannah arrives about 5:30 pm, and gives Cindy and I a night out on our own. Last night, we met some friends for dinner at Ruby Tuesday’s and took in a movie, “The Hangover” (which was hilarious, by the way!). We had a great time, despite a little mishap just before Hannah arrived. Alex and Adam were playing on the bed in the master bedroom, and Cindy and I were getting ready. Both of us thought the other was watching the kids when Alex, who is beginning to motor everywhere, rolled off the edge of the bed. Luckily, babies bounce! Anyway, he squealed for a bit in his mother’s arms, but was otherwise okay. And wouldn’t ya know it, we set him back on the bed, and he takes off for the edge again (this time he didn’t make it! :-)).

We returned home about 10:30 pm to a “non-eventful” report from Hannah, although Adam, it seems, stayed up a little later than he normally does (ordinarily, both kids are asleep by 8, but this night, Adam was up ’till about 9). No problem. We talked for a bit with Hannah, and she took-off for home. Cindy and I had a drink over conversation, and retired about 12:30 am. Then…


The boys are one-month old and waking up every couple of hours, which Adam did last night! At 1:30, 3:30 and 5:00, Adam was awake. First, he just needed his “passy,” so it only took a minute or two to get him back off to sleep. The next time required a small bottle and some rocking, which lasted a bit longer. The third time, Adam brought his brother into the act, and both required diaper changes and some cuddling. Anyway, the night was pretty much shot, and neither Cindy nor I got much sleep.

Now, it’s almost 9:00 pm, and the boys have been asleep for about an 1-1/2 hours. Cindy and I are getting ready for bed. Hopefully, the boys, Adam especially, have a good night sleep.

Alas, because if they (he) don’t (doesn’t), neither will we! 😉

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